Simon Wishes He Were This Funny

This, my friends, is pee your pants hilarious.



Thanks Melissa!

Ole!

When dinner is ready, it plays Bonanza. Come on!

Illuminating

In honor of Earth Day ... and summer!

Obsession of the Week: Outdoor Rugs

Much like the other houses on my block, the Manor has a huge, open air, wraparound front porch. *LOVE* Pretty much anytime it's not freezing cold up here in the Frozen Tundra, there's a lot of activity on our street, which may or may not include drinking wine, gossiping, hanging out, dog sniffing, bike riding, rubber chicken slingshoting (seriously!), sidewalk chalk decoration, and all out clamoring around the ramshackle ice cream truck when that jalopy makes its way down the block three times a week. (I am not even kidding; how sickeningly American, no?) So now I'm now in the market for furnishings for the porch -- a stylish and comfortable sofa and chair set (not a sectional, please). And this is a crazy process, yo. Seriously people, when did Restoration Hardware get so frikkin ridonkulously expensive? Someone better come up with a stylish, era-friendly solution that's shy of four thousand dollars for couch and chair. But I digress.

In addition to my search for the Holy Grail, I'm also looking for an outdoor rug to complement the currently nonexistent furniture grouping. I'm having a lot more luck in that department and there are a lot of amazing options in a variety of interesting styles.

Horchow Greek Key Outdoor Rug $65-$265

Crate and Barrel Solara Indoor/Outdoor Rug $36.95-$499.00

Pottery Barn Kilm Rug $39-$99
Grand In Road Terrace Zebra Area Rug $24-$299

Koko Company Woven Floormats (various sizes and styles) $29-$76

Pottery Barn Palm Leaf Outdoor Rug $99-$399


Horchow Borderline Rug $12-$269

Now if only I could find some thing to put ON it.

Penney's to the Rescue!

How am I supposed to resist these? $89 people. Oh yeah, coupons too.

Ye Olde Double Take

Dear Ye Olde Barn,

Remember the good times we had together, what with the free porn you used to send to me a couple of times a month and the guiltless meandering through your retail outposts? It was a long time ago. Then you had to go and get all schlocky on me with some rolled arm, denim covered, overstuffed sectional inspired by an attendee at an 80s metal show. Like a bad boyfriend, I was turned off and I never wanted to speak to you again. I'm telling you, I was borderline on the restraining order for a while.

But then something happened and I don't know what it was. Did you get a laser peel? Did you go to rehab? Did you read Eat, Pray, Love and go on some sort of spiritual journey? You don't have to tell me your secrets, but whatever you did, it looks very good on you. Very good. And I'm not even talking about your apparent recent trip to Morocco (I'm jealous!) and the jewel tone goodness that you have brought stateside for us good ole apple pie eatin Americans. Or even the bright colors that so appropriately belong on our summer furnishings. I am, however, very proud of you for growing up, realizing that you should not suck, paying attention to design periodicals and giving us pieces that look super expensive but are just moderately so. Thank you, Ye Olde Barn. Thank you for these:

Arlington Sofa


Ribbon edged drapes

Pedestal accent table


Chain rug

Tile pillows

Case glass vases
Ada side table

I could totally go on. Your resurrection makes me happy. And once again, your catalogs will become dogeared. Just don't go sucking on us again.

Now, can you please do something about the travesty that is Banana Republic? Thanks!

Gathers No Moss

Doorstop!

Here Comes The Sun

It's coming! I can feel it!

Twisted Spectator

Now that is a shoe.

I'm At the Mall On A Diet Pill!

Their first studio album in 16 years has arrived. Rejoice!

Lisa Rinna Called

She wants her couch back.

Number Eight

Soldier Number Eight wants a new friend!

Obsession of the Week: Trays At Target

After popping over to Maison21 and seeing this fabulous tray, I headed straight over to the Holy Mecca of All Things Awesome to check out their entire selection -- 500 plus trays. There's a lot of, um, ick. Seriously bullseye people, what is with the basketball chip and dip and Rachel Ray plastique? Alas, like all things of any worth, you have to hunt through the trash to arrive at the treasure. And yar, me matey Target pirates, there is treasure to be had!
Thomas O'Brien Rattan Serving Tray $19.59 . This appears to be a tightly woven tray, and a comparable item would be four times as much (or more) elsewhere. So serve up your lemonade, or better yet, margaritas, in this bad boy!
Madiera Tray set of 2 $99.99. Two solid wood trays, again for the fraction of the price of a comparable, non-Target item. Organize magazines, convert it to an in-box or hell, serve cocktails in the family room. Notice a trend?
Banana Split Trays (two of them!) $24.99. I am so loving yellow for spring. And you definitely need something to transport goblets of delicious drinks from the kitchen to the outdoors.
Aluminum Rectangular Serving Tray $37.99. A Nambe knockoff if ever I've seen one. Lay out some grapes, cheese and crackers for nibbling.
Carved Wood Serving Platter $19.99. Ye Olde Barn, eat your heart out! Put some napkins in this little guy because you might spill something after you have consumed all of the beverages you have just transported on all the other trays.

Modern Thumb

Last year, I seriously scoured the planet looking for modern, affordable, cool planters. I came up with a big goose egg. Although I settled for something from the Holy Mecca of All Things Awesome, and they did the trick just fine, they are still a far cry from those modern funboxes you see above from CB2.

And while I'm on the subject -- because I know you're listening CB2 -- can you please explain to me what do you have against me? You know I love your concept. And you know I'm enamored with your website. And you know I go out of my way to visit your house when visiting the most fabulous place on Earth, or even the second most fabulous place on Earth. So why is it that every time I step inside your front door, your shit is exceedingly weak? Explain that to me, barrelboy.

I'm waiting.

You Better Step Off!

For all yooz that are trying to move in on my pretend husband ...

The Real Deal

The Crew goes high brow!

Dilemma!

I love these, but hate that I have no place to put them.

Forever Blowing Bubbles

I'm currently in the market for outdoor lounging furniture for the ginormous wraparound porch at the Manor. And while I'm totally in love with this, it's far too modern and crazy for my elderly abode. *sigh* But I still love it!

We All Scream

Yum!

My Pretend Husband

Back off, bitches!

Via I *Heart* You.

May The Force Be With You

Out of all of the things in the Disneyland gift shop, I wanted these the most.

Bring on the Starbucks

This is the most functional coffee table ever! Looks good too!

Sew It Up

How cute is this?

Obsession of the Week: Dogs!

In the middle of my vacation, I found myself missing my little Piper something fierce. She's not here to cuddle up to me, wag her tail at the sight of me, or just generally worship the ground I walk on. Unfortunately, none of my human companions treat me with the same reverence. So yeah, Piper is one smart pup. And while I'm not one to anthropomorphize my animal in some sick Paris Hilton way, that won't stop me from getting all googly eyed at awesome doggie stuff:


This leash speaks the truth!

A collar for a little cupcake!

High design dishware for a modern pup.

Doggie needs a comfy bed!

And of course, you gotta carry your precious cargo in style!

Come on, I was entitled to post one foofy thing.

Okay. Two.

See you soon Pippi Doodle!