Piper Needs You!

This is my little Piper doodle.

Woof!

Isn't she a cutie?


If you agree, help Piper win a $1000 Visa gift card by voting for her as the Twin Cities' cutest pooch.

VOTE HERE

You can vote every minute through January 8. I promise that Piper will buy lots of shoes with her winnings.

You wouldn't want to disappoint these two, would you?


Shameless, I know.

Things That Are Wrong

I'm still on vacation here in sunny SoCal. I'm checking in only to report on three horrors that cannot go without comment.

I shop. A lot. And I see a lot of good stuff, which I of course share with you. But I also see a lot of schlock. A LOT. And, thankfully for all of us, I (usually) spare you from the horrors that grace the racks of many retailers. But not today. I've finally reached my breaking point. I'm not talking about mom jeans and muffin tops. This is far worse. Pay attention, and act accordingly.

Honestly. This is a Snuggie. I see a commercial for this blanket-robe-cultwear item at least 17 times a day. Who buys these? It's a polyester schmate straight out of the Branch Davidian compound in Waco. Eeegads.


Ed Hardy. Hello douchebag! Some executive is laughing all the way to the bank at the fools who fell for this elaborate fashion joke. It's not cool. It's not cute. And it ain't cheap either. Ridiculous.


Sweats with writing on the behind. Are they serious with this nonsense? A grown woman has no business traipsing around town in a pair of sweats that say "Juicy" or "Pink" on the tushie. NO, even if you are J.Lo (yes, that is her ass above).

Now excuse me while I go back to shaking my cane at the young whipper snappers at the mall.

Be Prepared

One last thing before I go ...

Ever thought you were going to break your teeth opening a package? Ready to kill the jerk who invented those ridiculous sticky things at the top of CDs and DVDs? Can't stand to see Barbie shackled by fourthousandandseven twistie ties? Let me deliver you from your suffering. For $13. Happy Holidays ... See you soon!

Holiday Gift Guide: Under $20

I have already done a few posts on inexpensive gifts for the holidays, but there's so much good stuff out there, I'm giving you another go 'round! Call them stocking stuffers, or save them for the sixth night of Chanukah, or just add them to your overwhelming list of goodies. Because good things do come in small packages!


Who doesn't want a donut in the morning? At $8 each, you can stock up on these and not break the bank!

Who doesn't love a good game of charades? $12.


You know I'm going to press the button that says "Ooooh, sexy girlfriend" about 5000 times. $12


These wall mounted bulldog and lion bottle openers are only $12 each!

10 strippers for $3.95!


I'll take a tin of black licorice piglets, please. $14

These are classic game pens -- Operation, Boggle, Etch A Sketch! $5.50!


For when you really want to express yourself. $18

And there you have it. This is the last gift guide, and just in time for the last weekend for shopping before the major holidays hit. I'm taking off for a short break but will be back with the best of the best of the best of the sales, and in this shizzriffic economy, you know there are going to be some good ones. Merry Merriness to all of you!

The Slider

What is this, you ask?

Remember those hand held sliding puzzles that you got as a party favor or at a carnival or in a happy meal? You know, the ones with 15 numbers all jumbled out of order? Say hello to that puzzle on steroids! This two foot by two foot piece of wall art actually works. Go with the style you see above or have it customized with a photo, painting or other whatever you want. Serious coolness!

Smells Like Cake!

I can't decide if this is awesome or just ridiculous. This is the new beauty line by Dylan's Candy Bar. Dylan is Dylan Lauren. As in daddy is Ralph Lipschitz. And Dylan bides her time running a fantastico candy store up the street from Bloomingdales in Manhattan. Anyhoo, it looks as if lil Dylan is expanding the brand like her pops and has whipped up some beauty products that smell like the deliciousness in the candy store. The scents include birthday cake, strawberry licorice, chocolate cupcake and coconut bon bon and the products range from lotions to shower gels. It's a cute concept. But more appropriate for tweens, no?

Dirty Pop!

Sick and tired of hearin all these people talk about ...

Ask Jennifer: Jennifer's List

You nosy bitches are all up in my business wanting to know what's on my holiday wish list, so I'll tell you.

Several years ago, my family decided to attempt to minimize the stress associated with holiday gift giving and agreed to a gift exchange. Our Festivus, if you will. The adults draw one name, have a spending limit of $100, and we publicize a list of desired gift items to the entire group (that's just for fun). We are not supposed to tell each other who we have or recruit help (other than the list) to find gifts. Good plan in theory, right? In reality? No one follows the rules. Either they can't keep their gob shut and blab who they have, or they enlist a small army to find a good gift, or they spend more than $100. But we do stick pretty close to the script. I actually wish they feared me more, because then I'd be more effective at the smackdown. Humph.

So before I get all Grinchy about the lack of respect for my arbitrary rules, here's my list, most of which I've publicized before but not all at once.


J. Crew Cashmere Bateau sweater in blue or black. With all the Crew sales, it's within the limit.


J. Crew Taj Mahal necklace, which has very limited stock. $60.


The Domino Book Of Decorating for $20. I have been holding off purchasing a copy with the hopes that it will show up as part of a Festivus "surprise." Perhaps with the Taj Mahal necklace?


Ralph Lauren Whistle Jigger for $75. I'm all about the home bar.

Another bar piece: Solano Martini Pitcher for $24 (a bargain, actually).

And then there are the various pieces from John Derian that I'm all over (from $70-92):


Or even these from Kaas Glassworks (various prices under $100)



Can you guess my preferred gift? In reality, I really want one of everything. Danger, indeed. What's on the top of your holiday wish list?

Face Off!

It's too modern for my home bar, but I totally love it!

Red Letter Day

Kate Spade bangle ... an improvement over the other jewelry!

Stress Much?

These are anxiety sculptures. Let someone/thing else get wrinkles.

Perfect for this economy.

The Perfect Bar

Have I bored you all to death with my incessant posts about assembling the perfect bar? Too bad!


These amazing lead free crystal decanters are perfect for displaying your booze. $95 each or $245 for the set of three. Lovely.

Holiday Gift Guide: For The Kiddies!

More more more for the kiddoos! In addition to the Ask Jennifer extravaganzas, I have a few holiday gift guides that will pop up during the next couple of weeks. And what better way to start than with some fun stuff for the munchkins?! I get more questions about finding unique and fun gifts for kids than anything else. Is that because you can't find your way out of the Target toy department or because of my overall lack of maturity, or both?! Anyway, here are some more fun, cute, sweet and silly ideas for making the little ones happy this holiday season.


I absolutely adore this circus umbrella. Check out that dangling fool!

Construct your own igloo with this snowbrick maker!


Who doesn't love finger puppets? Bonus! Circus finger puppets!

How cute are these little kiddie penguin slippers?


This sweet alpaca tiger hat is absolutely adorbs!

Joke's on you!

This cookbook is a classic!

If you have specific requests for holiday gift guides, or are otherwise in need of gift giving ideas for someone special, leave a comment below and I'll get right on it. Have a great weekend!

Ask Jennifer: Mad for Plaid

Hannah is back for more in this latest installment of Ask Jennifer. This time, I have been charged with the responsibility of shazamming up a a fitted button down plaid shirt for her. Seems that "santa" is a lazy sack and needs online links to some options before making a purchase. Lucky for Hannah, and "santa," plaid seems to be all the rage this year and, as you all know, I'm all about the online links. There are lots and lots of patterns, cuts and overall options to make everyone happy. Voila!


This is my favorite of the bunch, because I like the idea of a more feminine cut on a plaid shirt. It's not fitted, but it is super cute. At Shopbop, of course, for $110.


Seriously, Ralph Lauren does plaid pretty much better than anyone. From his hipster Rugby line, this fitted, button down number fits all of your parameters. $79.50


It doesn't look fitted, but it's from abercrombie so I'm sure once it's on, it will hug you in all the right places. At $69, it comes in four colors.


Channel your inner Gwen Stefani with this Lamb number, and fund her bleaching habit with this $185 price tag. Ouch!


This longer plaid option can be worn in several ways, and probably as a dress too (remember, that model is probably eight feet tall). $110


How about a little short sleeved number? $78 at Anthropologie.


You can always rely on the Brits to bring you some plaid options too. This one is from Topshop, at $55 (and they have others too).


Lastly, this one from The Gap comes in two colors and is on sale for $29.99.

There you go Hannah. Let me know which one "santa" drops down your chimney!

Drunken Slasher

Ever wanted to throttle someone in your family? Now's your chance. $22.30.