It Started With A Low Light

Next thing I knew, they ripped me from my bed.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Bon Voyage.

Keep your luggage in your living room. Just in case.

Hilariousness of the Day

Drink up, frat boy!

Numbers

More new art prints from Ye Olde Barn.

CASH Wednesday: Purses

Another Wednesday, another day to find some Cheap Ass Shit!

Today's inquiry comes from Hannah, who is looking for something to replace her well loved Longchamp bag. She's looking for something slouchy, brown and either a hobo or a tote. She's also looking for leather -- or leather-like, really, since, hi, we're on a budget of $100 or less.

Hannah, we will find you a purse!

First stop, the home of all things cheap: Target!


This Hayden-Harnett bag at Target is neither brown or leather-like, but I can attest to its awesomeness. My friend Kelley has been rocking this bag for weeks and every time I see it, I fall in love all over again. What you can't see from this picture is that it also has a cross body strap -- so great! And only $49.99!

But since this isn't quite what Hannah wants, we'll keep going. Over at Piperlime, I encountered this perfect match.
The Nine West Avant Charm Hobo might fit all of Hannah's specifications. Slouchy? Check. Brown? Yep. Hobo? Uh huh. Leatherish? Why, yes it is! As an added bonus, it has a cross body strap -- who doesn't love that kind of versatility? At $49.99 with free shipping, that's a deal!

But wait, there's more!
This The Sak bag is actual leather -- cha ching! -- and fits all of our other requirements. Available in Oxblood and Chocolate, and right under our budget at $99.99. You better hurry, or I might buy this out from under you!

And, just to throw a wildcard into the mix, our final stop is The Gap. While this isn't leather or brown, I cannot get enough of this purse.


The Tassel Tote is the perfect size, feels great and is an absolute bargain at $49.50. Every time I see it, I have to restrain myself from purchasing this.

I hope I found something for you, Hannah! Happy shopping!

Want some Cheap Ass Shit? Write to dear.colie@gmail.com and watch for this column every Wednesday morning!

Nooner

Oh this looks so good, right about now.

Pouf!

I have a thing for poodles.

Tonight

Are you watching RuPaul's Drag Race? Because you should. This hot mess is a straight up parody of Project Runway and America's Next Top Model. Ru is the Queen Drag Mentor, whipping up challenges for the girls to highlight their, um, assets. Make some drag outfits out of crap from the 99 cent store! Form a girl group and perform a Destiny's Child song! You know that all those divas in one place makes for some excellent television, if you can get over the vaseline covered lens (Ru's getting up there, poodles).

On LOGO, tonight at 9. Or on VH1 later in the week. Watch. And report back.

Violence On A Monday Morning

I'm sort of loving this ironic necklace.

A Triumph!

It's early. The red carpet has just started. And seriously? Robin Roberts looks frikkin FANTASTIC. You go girl!

That's J. Crew, by the way! Huzzah!

photo courtesy of Getty Images

Obsession of the Week: Crew Jewels Again!

I know we've been down this path before, with me extolling the virtues of J. Crew's jewelry line. And really, why wouldn't I? It's gorgeous. It's affordable. It's classic. I actually wear my Crew pieces all the time, and I can attest that the quality is beyond excellent. And the style? Well, look for yourself. Yes, I am obsessed!


Anyone who knows me also knows that I'm a sucker for a good piece of pearl jewelry. I rotate a couple of pairs of Alexis Bittar earrings on a regular basis and I've been known to sport a knuckle busting pearl ring from time to time, like yesterday in fact. This pearl cluster bracelet would fit right into that rotation! $78.

I absolutely adore this statement piece of a bracelet. That's a lot of detailed enamel work, all for $88.

Remember those Kate Spade earrings? The Crew does them for $45.


The Crew must be reading my mind, because I have been looking for a signet ring for it seems like forever now. This one is part of the fine jewelry collection, and it's a staggering $295. I'm guessing it's the real deal. And that it will go on sale soon. At least I hope so.

Now excuse me while I go put on all of my Crew jewels and transform into crazy jewelry lady! Have a great weekend!

The Writing Is On The Wall

Oh Ye Olde Barn, you kill me.

For Wyle E. Coyote

To help him catch the Road Runner, of course.

Paris on a Thursday

Or every day, really.

CASh Wednesday: Rugs

This week's cheap ass quandary comes from Elena. She's looking for something similar to the Bridget Rug from Pottery Barn, only, you know, cheaper. And that's why we're here, after all!

And did I mention she wants an 8 x 10 rug? Yeah. Because she does. Elena, she is very demanding about her cheap shit.

So to make this work, we're going to have to find something close to that inspiration piece. Let's think of our requirements:

• 8 x 10
• Graphic or interesting print
• Browns, white and blue

Because rugs of this size can run thousands of dollars, we're going to adjust the rules this week. Instead of a $100 limit, we're going to be working with $250. This is still significantly cheaper than the inspiration rug, which is a whopping $450.

So. Here we go!

First stop, Overstock.com where we find the Woven Rhythms rug.


The size is a little off, but at $239.99, it's a pretty good deal. It doesn't quite have the pop of our inspiration piece, though. Let's keep looking.

Next, the Recife Summit rug from Rugs Direct.


Again, the size is a little off. But it's also at $239 and, though it's lacking the blue, the lines are great and the colors go with anything. Somehow, though, I think Elena wants something more exciting.

The New Generation rug might be a little far off from our inspiration piece, but I can't pass this up.


For $135, it's as cheap as they get. And the colors are great. In fact, I could see this fitting right underneath my coffee table...

Perhaps the best and most economical option for Elena are the awesome, durable and often overlooked Flor tiles. They're light, easy to clean and you can rearrange them to make a "new" rug whenever you get bored.

The Desert Pueblo tiles are a steal at $2.78 per square feet.


If none of those work, may I recommend checking your local Homegoods and Big Lots? I have found many an awesome rug in both locations for practically free! And, if you're really nice, sometimes they'll bargain with you -- a definite plus that you can't get while shopping online.

Elena, I hope we found something to complete your lovely home.

Need some help finding cheap ass shit? Write to dear.cole@gmail.com with your desire and I'll find it for you, on a budget, and publish it here every Wednesday. Happy shopping!

Studded

Can someone out there be a peach and tell me how I can wear this dress every day during the summer? Because I loves it!

Tray Table

I am very much all over this chic little stand and woven tray for the front porch of The Manor.

Tops

I may die of adorableness.

Pillow Talk

Look at what Matte Stephens has whipped up?! Cuteness at 32 clams each.

The Classics: Be My Valentine

I am what you would call a Valentine's Day Grinch. I don't like receiving flowers or candy. I'm not even partial to going out on Valentine's Day. Maybe it's because it's a Hallmark holiday, or because it all seems so contrived. But Valentine's Day is also a classic and even my teeny, tiny Grinch heart would grow three sizes upon receipt of the following classic book:

I had this book when I was a kid, and I remember reading it all the time. The illustrations and stories add up to a whole lot of sweetness, and all for $5.95. Yeah, I'm a sap.

My heart would also grow three sizes upon receipt of this classic bag:

Prada Soft Calf Pocket Tote. $1375. Perfect to carry around that book. And that's the end of my sappiness. Booyah!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

The Classic Ask Jennifer: The Academy Awards

Oh, this has got to be the holy grail of all Ask Jennifers, ever. Vicki is going to the Oscars! Now go put your jealous monster away because Vicki needs something to wear that is hot, fabulous, red-carpet worthy and won't break the bank. She's got some serious curves, so she doesn't want anything bias cut. And we'll also stay far far away from anything that screams tragic mess!

With just a week left before the big show, I have to send Vicki to a major retailer because there's just no time for fooling around with custom fittings or the big treasure hunt. They'll get it hemmed and tucked in just the right places in time for the big show. Plus, once she tells them she's going to the Oscars, they'll fawn all over her (just like me, and the rest of you!). Trust.


You might think I'm bonkers for suggesting something that's not floor length. But you know what? Who the hell cares? You're not picking up any hardware, and you're there to have fun. Why shouldn't you look like you're out to have a good time? This short, sequin number is formal enough for an attendee, fun enough to party in, and hot enough, period. Those Hollywood bitches will totally be jealous of your fun little frock, and I would wear this dress like nobody's business! David Meister, $500.


Good golly, this is a knock off of the Kate Winslet number from the Golden Globes if ever I've seen one. Gorgeous color, hugs in all the right places, and supports the girls. It is cut on the bias, but BCBG does that very well. Worth a try at $298.


If you prefer Anne Hathaway, this red, chiffon ABS number will most certainly match her shade of lipstick. And, it's on sale! $199.


If you have more a than t, then this one might be a better choice. This Aidan Maddox beaded keyhole gown is long and flowy, in a beautiful color, has a sexy cut out back, and the built in bling is an added bonus. $388.


If you're really in a pinch, you can never go wrong with a long black gown. This one from JS Boutique has a flattering cut, lots of support and is embelleshied with enough bling to allow you to blend right in. Bonus, it's $180!


And finally, even the Crew is in on the action. This is the most basic of gowns, and it is classicly tailored. You can accessorize it any way you want. $320.

Vicki, have a fantastic time at the Oscars. And if you happen to *bump* into Clooney, be a dear and give him my number! And report back!!!

The Classics: The Cashmere Sweater

One in every color, please. Even better when they are on sale.

The Classics: White Button Down Shirt

For work, for play, and everything in between. Under a sweater, or alone. Topped with a vest, or a scarf around your neck. With jeans. Under a fitted blazer. Sleeves rolled up. I have five of these in my closet at any given time. My favorite.

The Classics: The Black Handbag

Some people go to the trouble of daily coordination of handbag and outfit. Who are these people? For those of you like me, you regularly carry the same bag (and perhaps switch it up from time to time). And as much as I love my red shoulder bag, and my zebra tote, and my orange doctor bag, and by brown hobo, I can almost always be found carrying a black shoulder bag. It goes with everything, and that's why it's a classic.

The Classics: Hunter Wellies

Before Wellies became all the rage, in every shape, pattern, color and style, there were Hunter Wellington boots. These all weather rain boots now come in just about every color of the rainbow, but I prefer the black. These suckers are hand-made, of a single piece of latex, so they are truly water tight. They'll also set you back $115 or so ... unless you're like me and scored a pair on sale right after Christmas for under 40 clams. Hooray!

The Classics: The Suit

Say what you will about the proliferation of business casual in the workplace. There are times when a suit is the most appropriate option. This Donna Karan suit is an extravagant splurge, but I could bust out some serious bitchitude in that bad boy! (Okay, I can bust out some serious bitchitude in anything.)

The Classics: Seven For All Mankind Jeans

Before there was True Religion, or Anlo, or Habitual, or Hudson, or whatever premium denim brand that happens to be the hotness of the moment, there was Seven for All Mankind. Like the story with the plain white t-shirt, I've tried just about every denim brand on the market. And I keep coming back to these jeans -- they fit well, they wear well, they come in a lot of different styles, they last a long time, they're not too trendy but just trendy enough, and, if you're lucky, you can usually find a pair at TJ Maxx or Off Fifth or some other discount retailer. I currently have two pairs of Sevens in my denim rotation, and they look just as good as they did when I acquired them five or so years ago.

The Classics: Ballet Flats

What's not to love about a good pair of flats? They go with just about everything. You can find them in a wide variety of styles and prices. And they're comfortable too. The above pair from Calvin Klein is on super duper final sale at Shopbop but there's plenty more where that came from here.

The Classics: Jack Purcell Sneakers

These are the original Jack Purcell sneakers by Converse. They go with everything, at any time of year, and they never go out of style. I have owned many a pair, and they have been well-loved.

The Classics: Plain White T-Shirt

Kids, this week at TMASE is all about The Classics, and by that I mean classic clothing and accessories. Because in this shiteous economy, it seems quite sensible to me to stick with classic and timeless pieces that have and will continue to stand the test of time. Most of the items on tap this week will be quite affordable (with a few outrageous splurges here and there ... this is TMASE, after all). Let's start with the most basic piece of all:


This is an update on the classic white t-shirt from The Gap. I've tried just about every white t-shirt out there, and my most favored child continues to be from The Gap. This elbow-length update is a perfect transitional piece into spring and summer. It comes in six colors and is $24.50. A must have!

For The Spring

I would like this dress. Please.

Baby Bear

I think the little one is juuuuust right.

On A More Ridiculous Note

There are no words.

Blackjack

Not exactly practical, but nevertheless cool.